I Don't Brush My Teeth and I Never Comb My Hair - Barry Louis Polisar

I don’t brush my teeth;

I never comb my hair

I wear the same socks everyday and I don’t care

I never have to clean my room.

I never change my shirt

I like my pants the way they are;

ripped and caked with dirt

I wash my hands on Sunday.

Monday I change my clothes

There’s lint stuck in my belly button and dirt in between my toes

I ride the bus to school each day, everyone makes room for me I like to shower twice a year to help me socially

My teacher never calls on me, she’s so afraid she’l faint

She says my grammars good enough, but I’m almost sure it ain’t

Take a whiff if you want to;

come close if you dare

But I don’t brush my teeth and I never comb my hair