I Wish I Were - Da Vinci's Notebook

I wish I were a bird

'Cause if I were a bird then I could take wing high above you

You could watch my white wings flap

And I could take a great big crap on anyone who tried to hurt you

But then I’d have to desert you

Flying southward in the fall…

I don’t want to be a bird after all

I wish I were a dog

'Cause if I were a dog then I’d do tricks to show I love you

I could run and fetch the stick

And I could sit right down and lick my privates when your Mom came over

But if I was your Rover

You’d have my testicles recalled…

I don’t want to be a dog after all

Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai

Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai

Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai

Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai

I wish I were a deer

'Cause if I were a deer then we could play out in the forest

'Til you shot me by mistake

Then you would carve me into steak with a touch so sweet and gentle

Keep my head as a memento

Hangin' in the upstairs hall…

I don’t want to be a deer after all

I wish I were a monkey

'Cause if I were a monkey, I could be your furry jester

And whenever you were blue

You’d come and see me at the zoo;

my antics would be reassurin'

But I would always reek of urine

And throw my feces at the wall…

I don’t want to be a monkey

I don’t want to be a monkey

No I don’t wanna be no monkey after all

Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai

Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai

Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai

Lai da dai, lai da dai, lai da dai