Lucretia Borgia - Momus

I’m sorry I fucked your best friend, Lucretia Borgia

Though we’re frankly surprised you’re appalled

We thought you’d be ecstatic

To see us so happy

Being your two closest friends and all

We are not really that thirsty, Lucretia Borgia

We will not take two goblets of wine

We’d love to sip your chalice

But we’re due at the Pitti Palace

Maybe some other time

I’m grateful for everything you did, Lucretia Borgia

And I hope you’re not disappointed in me

Your legendary parties for wealthy old hearties

Were the talk of all Tuscany

No I shall not take a walk with your friend Luigi

Although as henchmen go he’s all right

I won’t take that walk, and I don’t want to talk

Maybe some other night

I don’t know why it didn’t work for us, Lucretia Borgia

It wasn’t your motto 'Might makes right'

I didn’t mind your snobbery or your two charming hobbies

Vindictive murder and spite

Don’t show me the door, Lucretia Borgia

It leads to the Arno, I know

It opens on a stair which leads to a tower

Where no-one must go

Your first marriage was anulled

Your second husband got killed

You slept with your father

And sucked your brother’s dick

But, hey, everybody needs to get a kick out of life

Lucretia what are you doing with that knife?