The Museum of Fog - The Clientele

One Friday night, in late summer, I was walking the old canal;

cars passed, open windows blaring hits by Madonna.

Buddleias

overhung the road.

I left the towpath as the light began to fail and found myself in a

pub car park.

From its battered sign, I recognised the Fox and

Hounds: I’d last visited two decades ago, before I’d left the

town for good, a 16-year-old slumped over an illegal rum and

coke.

A policeman had been striding towards the door and the

landlady bundled me and my friends out of a window in the

gents toilets, from which we nimbly landed on the canal

towpath, and melted into the night, laughing.

Through the gate and past the bourn

Meadowsweet and thick blackthorn

There were birds high on the trail

When I saw your face

Inside, nothing had changed.

The jukebox still boasted a 45 by

Twinkle, thirty years after it had dropped out of the charts.

Mock

Tudor windows still faced the road and oak beams above

blackened in a fug of smoke.

No one was drinking there.

A crowd didn’t begin to gather until 9. Kids, not cool exactly,

but somehow… leonine.

I guessed from the posters on the

walls they’d come to see a band, and soon they were filing

past me, paying an entrance fee to a man in stonewashed

denim and disappearing into a back room.

The idea of a night

drinking alone was unpleasant to me.

The pub was now empty.

I had nothing to lose, and I picked up my beer, paid my money

and followed them in.

Very early once in May

Voices outside called my name

There were green leaves in your hair

When I kissed your lips

The room was cramped and dark, and during a momentary

hush, a singer on the stage was introduced as The Phantom.

He was wearing the kind of plastic mask sold in art shops, and

a superhero’s cape.

To a round of applause, several other

musicians formed a circle, amps turned in on each other like

wagons on a prairie.

I looked around me: the crowd was bathed

in the red glow of the stage lights.

For a moment, the buzz of

amps filled the expectant quiet.

Then, without a count-in, the

band began to play.

The bell, the cup, the gown

The falling tower falls down

Almost immediately, I froze.

The sound their instruments made

was almost-human: my beer glass slithered through my fingers

as I recognised it as my own 16-year-old laughter, escaping

through a toilet window, retreating from a policeman, dragged

back through the long track of years which had passed, and re-

presented, re-lived in front of the audience.

In its disembodied

state, it was one of the most purely beautiful things I have ever

heard—it briefly brought the past back to life, old hopes and

innocence burst into sudden flower.

I was sweating, shaking

in the dark room, tears welling in my eyes.

But within seconds

the laughter died and the hair on my arms stood up—I had the

physical sensation of shapes evaporating away into the night

outside.

Slowly, the music took on a harsher, more abstract tenor, and in

it I heard the faint seashore noises of the motorway, building into

a long drone which slowly became overwhelming, roaring like a

jet engine.

To me, at that moment, it seemed to express our

years of living with that motorway sound, years of it

underscoring every day and night, every experience we’d lived

through, cleansing it from our bodies and minds in a deafening

catharsis.

Hollow boned, you’ll waste away

Searching through the forest glades

For the green leaves in the hair

And the lips that kiss

I was shaking as the band rounded their set out with a wash of

bells or wind chimes.

As they left the stage to scattered applause,

it occurred to me that the Phantom had not sung a note.

He was pushing through the crowd towards the exit, hemmed

in by acolytes.

I tried to get near him but I couldn’t.

Dazzled by

the sudden bright light in the room, my certainty drifted away;

had the sounds I’d heard been exactly what I’d thought they

were?

I was in a difficult, neurotic state and perhaps there were

memories welling up that I couldn’t control.

I felt suddenly

depressed and tired, disgusted with my own numbness.

Hollow boned, you’ll waste away

Searching through the forest glades

For the green leaves in the hair

And the lips that kiss

Kids were leaving, ignitions starting up outside;

the Phantom

had joined a carload, rolling on up the road towards the town

and its only nightclub.

The pub was closing down.

I stood in the

night and I wondered what had been taken from me.