Lock Shut - Atena

You’ve come to know, these waters to well

They don’t mirror heaven, nor resemble hell

They’re ever reaching waters

Of angst and despair

It’s not bad to be fair

As it’s fear, not love, that conquers all

It’s always there when you fall

I am a hypocrite

It’s for survival, a way to feel normal

I have nothing to give

So why aren’t you fucking leaving

Shards of glass on dark, cold, floor

Lush, violent anger, held back no more

Relapse

Once more, defeat

Numbing

I’ve been waiting for this

Spin of insensibility

Shutting down

Then it turns around

A pleasant feeling of loss

A lovely smell of grief

Just take it from me

Nothing ever felt this bleak

You’ve come to know, these waters to well

They don’t mirror heaven, nor resemble hell

They’re ever reaching waters

Of angst and despair

As it’s fear, not love, that conquers all

It’s always there when you fall

I twist the cold hard steel till I hear it click

I pull back hard on the handle to make sure of it

These locked doors deliver the solitude that I’m looking for

To grey matter in civil war, they’re safe shores

I know the knocks on the door know that I need them

So I write my thoughts down, to save them

And these words are soliloqies

From minds that are their own damn enemies

I am a hypocrite

It’s for survival, a way to feel normal

I have nothing to give

So why aren’t you fucking leaving

Shards of glass on dark, cold, floor

Lush, violent anger, held back no more

Relapse

Once more, defeat