Be Careful, There's a Baby in the House - Loudon Wainwright III

Be careful, there’s a baby in the house

And a baby will not be fooled

It’s a thing brand new, does what it wants to

Until you get it schooled

Be careful, there’s a baby in the house

And a baby will play it for real

If your «I love you» is an IOU

Don’t expect to get a good deal

So, look out mama, look out dad

Your bundle of joy will not be had

If the blanket is blue or if the blanket is pink

You’d best watch what you do, you’d best watch what you think

Be careful, there’s a baby in the house

And a baby can spot your schtick

All the coochy-coochy-coo

Is a lot of poo-poo when you spread it on that thick

Be careful, there’s a baby in the house

And a baby is better than smart

It can waddle through all the stuff you do

Never mind your big head start

Be careful, there’s a baby in the house