Hyperventilating - Abstract, YONAS, IVAN B

17 with a pen and a pad, writing out my life making sense of my past

Tryna find the light through a sensitive mask

I don’t take it off till I’m deep in a track

Speaking to myself just reflecting off of the page

Who knew the passive kid was just good at passing the rage

Off into a song so it couldn’t live in the cage

That sat upon his shoulders just hiding behind his face

Back when it was simple, before it was a job, before the expectations,

before I knew the odds

Back when it was just a broken heart I had to fix

Now I’m scared that I’ve been broken since I made a couple hits

Fans want me to fly but they keep me on a leash

Fears of losing me to a level that they can’t reach

This the life I chose and they tell me that I’m a beast

But all I wanted was the beauty, all I’m searching for is peace

Can someone help me catch my breathe

My heart is beating out my chest, hyperventilating

I thought I was waiting, on someone to save me

But I’m finding lately, all I can count on to not drive me crazy

Is being right here for the person who needs me

But holding myself up it ain’t been to easy

They give me pain then I elevate

Replicate the feeling When I meditate

Can’t find my state of mind

When I’m out of state

If I take a break

I’ma break

Overthink

When I don’t wanna think

Wash my thoughts

I don’t wanna sink in them

Pointing out my fears

Like what you think of them

Counting out the years

Like What you leave in them

Dropping every classic

How you sleep on him

How you sleep on him

Lately I’ve been keeping a secret

Of always feeling defeated

Feelin the Blisters on my feet I see

Y’all kicking your feet up

Don’t call me to kick it

I’m on a track

I don’t mean a meet up

If you ain’t working

You’re working to keep up

Can’t see me

I’ll Sia, (Aye!)

Out of breath

I’ve been a mess

Too many choices

Been a guess

Overworking cause

I know the waters coming

For the neck

Doing more

And feeling less

Is that a recipe

I’ll test

Looking out the window

Got a question for the blessed

Can someone help me catch my breathe

My heart is beating out my chest, hyperventilating

I thought I was waiting, on someone to save me

But I’m finding lately, all I can count on to not drive me crazy

Is being right here for the person who needs me

But holding myself up it ain’t been to easy

Truth be told, I’ve been awake

I went from starving to having the competition on my dinner plate

And I don’t say that to intimidate

I just want these gimmicky rappers to step aside so I can innovate

I built my whole studio inside my living space

So I’m right at home with the lyricism I illustrate

I give people their flowers while they can smell 'em

And not a minute late cuz then they start to disintegrate

Rose pedals, and falsettos

They never really make it to these dark ghetto’s

So Air Jordan’s, and Margiela’s, in Dark yellow

Will shield me from the rain when the storm settles.

Damn

It ain’t been easy, but I’m fine with that

I put my heart into this music, it’s forever where you’ll find me at

I’m in the future looking back at this rap like an artifact

Tryna remember just where I started at