If I Should Die - Aephanemer

Delusion or

Worth my lifetime

How would I deem what I lived for

If I should die?

The toil must be done

Days are passing by

But tomorrow might be the last one

And I shall die

A habit is for us to deny

Spinning a web of silver lies

To hide the many agonies

All around us, for every being

We seem happier reduced by hunger

Flattering ourselves to be starved

Utterly craving for all that lies beyond our grasp

On the path of darkness and desire

A sweet scent of extinguished fire

We’re getting worse, eager to curse

Not the curtain, but what’s behind

Intoxicated within the smell of humankind

Today should be like every remaining day

Definitely all that I ask for

Whatever the moment when I’ll go away

That does not change anything at all

Happiness is complete in the here and now

It will not increase with a longer time

No other place but where I’m sitting down

This one quiet throne that I recognize as mine

A busy life and good relations

Just like everybody else

Meeting these people’s expectations

Worrying about judgments

But in my chest this acute pain

This unusual taste in my mouth

And all that counted now seems vain

Suddenly overwhelmed by doubt

I cannot be struck by these throes

With all my feelings and my thoughts

It would be too much awful woes

That my efforts had been for naught

On the chase of dreams and their demise

A sense of nonsense in disguise

This is not fair, we cannot bear

Yet another kind of torment

So disappointed, in absolute bewilderment

Today should be like every remaining day

Definitely all that I ask for

Whatever the moment when I’ll go away

That does not change anything at all

Happiness is complete in the here and now

It will not increase with a longer time

No other place but where I’m sitting down

This one quiet throne that I recognize as mine

Maybe it is going to take me nowhere

But I reckon not having to go anywhere

I don’t keep any illusion to hold dear

I just need to be ready to disappear

Void comes from the self alone

Fear from what we believe we own

Stoics across time give an advice

May death be daily before our eyes