This Grudge - Alanis Morissette

Fourteen years, thirty minutes

Fifteen seconds I’ve held this grudge

Eleven songs, four full journals

Thoughts of punishment I’ve expended

Not in contact, not a letter

Such communication, telepathic

You’ve been vilified, used as fodder

You deserve a piece of every record

But who’s it hurting now?

Who’s the one that’s stuck?

And who’s it torturing now

With an antique knot in her stomach?

I wanna be big and let go

Of this grudge that’s grown old

All this time I’ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us

Like an abandoned house, dusty covered

Furniture, still intact

If I visit it now, do I simply re-live it?

Somehow gratuitous

But who’s still aching now?

Who’s tired of her own voice?

Who is it weighing down

With no gift from time of said healing?

I wanna be big and let go

Of this grudge that’s grown old

All this time I’ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us

Maybe as I cut the cord

Veils will lift from my eyes

Maybe as I lay this to rest

Dead weight off my shoulders to rise

Here I sit much determined

Ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain

How this has entertained, validated

And has served me greatly, ever the victim

But who’s done whining now?

Who’s ready to put down?

This load I’ve carried longer

Than I had cared to remember

I wanna be big and let go

Of this grudge that’s grown old

All this time I’ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us

I wanna be big and let go

Of this grudge that’s grown old

For the life of me I’ve not known

How to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

Clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us