Wasn't I Paying Attention - Amanda Shires

I just had the strangest day of my life

Worse than the last week with my first wife

I let John borrow my truck

He said he needed to get some stuff

To pay some bills

Nome ain’t a city, it’s barely a town

For a place so pretty, it could bring you way down

He kept his huntin' knife titanium-clipped

To a nylon belt set high on his hip

For self-defense

It was a regular mornin'

No red flags or warnings

No, nothin' suspicious

Wasn’t I payin' attention?

I didn’t see the full gas can he’d set in the seat

I just nodded and tossed him the keys

Did I see shakin' in his hands?

Was he makin' darker plans

Than usual?

John had been clean for over a year now

We all thought he was in the clear now

But it wasn’t God talkin' to him that day

It was a beast that never goes away

It sleeps in your brain

It was a regular mornin'

No red flags or warnings

No, nothin' suspicious

Wasn’t I payin' attention?

Every Sunday was another doomsday

He’d say «Last Judgement’s not far away»

He talked about evil in his blood

He spoke of fire, he spoke of floods

That’s how he was

It was a regular mornin'

No red flags or warnings

No, nothin' suspicious

Wasn’t I payin' attention?

It was a regular mornin'

No red flags or warnings

No, nothin' suspicious

Wasn’t I payin' attention?

John drove my truck down to the square

He thought he would end it all right there

He took off his coat, doused himself in gas

Slit his own throat, climbed back into the cab

And lit the match