Red Shoes Blues - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Hannah Waddingham

She’s so misguided

It’s all so one-sided

That dimwitted girl dares tangle with me

She’s prissy, she’s clueless, and I want her shoeless

I’ll show how her fiendishly mean I can be

I want those shoes to establish just who’s number one

From the east to the west

Then I’ll be complete

With the world at my feet

And red always suited me best

I know

I hold sway

Over all I survey

But I now need a much bigger deal

The shoes are the key

To the making of me

So find her!

And bring her to heel

When I get that footwear

From her and it’s put where

It could have been, should of been

Right from the start

My power will grow

It will blossom and flow

Through the world, through the years

And straight to my heart

We all like to dance

So now here’s your chance

You’ll dance till your very last gasp

Gyrate, pirouette

You’ll swelter and sweat

And stumble right into my grasp…

You’ll find you can’t stop

As you dance till drop

And stumble right into my grasp

Enjoy your dance my pretties…

And now.

You.

My monkeys.

My darlings.

Yes

It is time, at long last, for you to do your work

Off you go and mop up the mess- I want that little girl and her mangy little dog

But most of all… I want my slippers

Now go!

Fly!

Fly!

Fly!