The Nogoodnick - Antimc, Andrew Broder

The nomadic addict bites down on his wallet

He buries his fingernails in the floor where he’s fallen

His blood is freezing and his skin is on fire

He’s twitching and wheezing and about to expire

Yes this nocturnal colonel opens and closes his eyes

It was bound to end up this way

It comes as little surprise

He’s covered in perspiration it soaks his sear sucker suit

He wonders who in tarnation

Put a scorpion in his boot

Which one’a the sons of bitches

Did this dastardly deed?

He knew that some had it in for him

But he never took heed

He never listened to anybody

Never took a word of advice

He disowned his whole family and didn’t think twice

His poor old mother

Who failed to keep him from trouble

Who knew just enough about Shakespeare to fill in a crossword puzzle

He got tangled with Satanic actors at an impressionable age

Who in his heart he knew were bastards

But were flawless on stage

They traveled all over the countryside

Playing to sold out crowds

Late at night he heard them making awful guttural sounds

And he was making the same ones now

Writhing in a pitiful heap

He has no hope of surviving

The scorpion got into him deep

His mind is reeling

His reality has collapsed

Everything that has ever happened has been part of some elaborate trap