None Too Ladylike - ApologetiX

Jezebel hit the wall, she really had a fall

What a happy day for Israel’s PTA

She screamed a lot for sure when she fell 20 floors

Finally bit the dust, man

God overthrew her plans

She was into Baal and Asherah

She was gonna be in charge

She was gonna just harass

All the good Israelites at large

She fell, oh, yes indeed

Here’s now her eulogy

Look at her savage life

Another desperate housewife

If you’re thinking Madonna was wild before Kabbalah

Well there used to be one queen who made her look like Mrs. Clean

Her stupid old husband, he gave her what she wanted

But she killed and often lied

She’s none too, none too, none too ladylike

She killed all the prophets she could ever find

Wrecked Israel’s idiot kings Ahab and Ahaziah

She mocked God’s commands — not a big Leviticus fan

Got the upper hand on the men around who ran the land

Where’s the ministers?

Made 'em pagan

And she’s no mother-type;

this isn’t Nancy Reagan

When immorality becomes P. C

What can the righteous do?

Skip town, lay low

'cause that lady’s a bloodthirsty piranha

Ahab was her pawn just

Like Count Dooku in Part 3

And Jezebel’s like Palpatine

She’s ruthless and ice cold

Don’t tell us that she’s nice, though

Cause she serves the darker side

She’s none too, none too, none too ladylike

These hate crimes — they did stop

General Jehu led an assassin’s plot

And when she saw he was comin' after her

Her face just dropped, dropped, dropped

And now we’re singing cantatas

Happy Rosh Hashana

And it’s due to just one thing

That Jezebel is history

The prophet she talked to

He told her she’d be dogfood

'Cause she killed, she ought to die

She’s none too ladylike

First Kings 16, you’re gonna

Meet her if you wanna

Filled with voodoo, debauchery

Her name lives on in infamy

The truth’s in the Bible

She’d love Samaritan Idol

She’d choose Baal and not Bo Bice

She’s none too, none too, none too ladylike