The Real Sin Savior (Parody of "The Real Slim Shady") - ApologetiX

May I have your repentance please?

May I have your repentance please?

Will you tell Him «Save me» and please stand up?

I repeat, will you tell Him «Save me» and please stand up?

We’re gonna have a prophet here

Y’all act like you never seen a nice person before

You oughta hope in the Lord

Your panting tongue is just thirsting for more

You started lookin' around, searching cause you’re

Uncertain you’re sure you know where you’re going eternally

If you return to God «…ah, wait, no, wait, we’re sinning

We couldn’t get saved with all the things we did, can we?»

And Dr. J. says «Nothing you did is such a grave sin

It costs your salvation!»

(Haha!)

Heavenly livin’s above every man

«Chick-a-chick-a-chick-a, he’s crazy!

I’m sick of them 'born agains'

Walking around asking if you know God

Speaking of You-Know-Who

Yeah, but there’s no proof, though»

Yeah, I probably got a couple of you who think I lack proof

But no worse than what’s goin' on in America’s classrooms

Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just spread the truth

But can’t, but the school can tell me we come from evolution

«My mama was a fish, my mama was a fish

And if we’re monkeys, you might as well forget Original Sin!»

And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to question on their own if God exists

Of course they’re gonna wonder if the Lord’s fake

By the time they hit fourth grade

They got the Easter Bunny and Santa, don’t they?

We ain’t shining examples

Well some of the scandals are caused by people posin' as evangelists

But if Jesus loved His enemies and Pharisees

Then there’s no reason that you can’t get another chance and believe

But if you feel a slight chill, I got the anti-freeze

This is not a fantasy, it’s important and it’s free

I’ve sinned greatly, but Christ’s for real, baby

It’s a wonder He saved me and just didn’t hate me

So won’t you tell Him «Save me»

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Yes, I’ve been crazy, yes, I’ve been real shady

Always wanted Him to save me, but just didn’t say it

So won’t you tell Him «Save me»

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Will Smith don’t gotta discuss the Christian path to salvation

Well, I do — it affects him, and affects you, too

You think I give a care if he likes my parodies?

Half of you kiddies won’t even look at me, let alone stare at me

«But J., what if we pray?

Wouldn’t we be weird?»

Why?

Would you guys reject Christ just to fit with your peers

So you can live in fear for the next 60 years?

This ain’t imaginary, better get prepared

The price of sin, yes, it costs us dearly with death first

And when that part is over if you ain’t saved, it gets even worse

Little chance they’ll put me now on MTV

«Yeah, it’s true, but I think he’d scare all the kids!

Ree, ree!»

I said now’s when they oughta know 'bout John 3:3

It shows the whole world how they need born again to be free

I’m singin' you little girls and boys spoofs

All you do is ignore me

Though I have been sent here to inform you

And there’s a million of us just like me, you judge like me

Were just like triple-fudge ice cream, we’re just quite sweet

You watch Saul in Acts 9:3

You just might see you’re just like him, You’re not fighting me

I’ve sinned greatly, but Christ, He still saved me

From a hundred temptations and death, sin and Hades

So won’t you tell Him «Save me»

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Yes, my sin shamed me, yet I’ve been healed lately

God the Father forgave for me for messing with Satan

So won’t you tell Him «Save me»

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

I’m like a breath mint you listen to but I’m only giving you

Things you thought about in your head with my religious group

The only difference is I got the call to say it in front of y’all

And I don’t gotta be Paul, the Book I quote has it all

I just get out a Bible and read it and whether you like it you need it

As sure as I can see that better than 90 percent of you happen to doubt me

Then you wonder how can kids give up their values I tell you it’s funny

Cause at the place I’m going when I’m buried

I’ll see the only person in the world I know who’s worthy

He’s the first and last and I’m J. Jackson, I’m the worst

And I’m a jerk and Jesus knows that but my bragging wasn’t working

And every single person needs a Sin Savior urgently

You could be working on a burglary or sittin' in a nunnery

Or keepin' part of the law perfectly, screamin' «I don’t sin that much»

Puttin' Christians down, sayin' «It's just a crutch»

So if you’re still waiting, please stand up

'Cause this wonderful singer’s time is eaten up

And it’s time to get off your behind and out of the row

Come on down, now is your chance, how do I know?

I’ve sinned greatly, but Christ’s for real, baby

It’s a wonder He saved me and just didn’t hate me

So won’t you tell Him «Save me»

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

Yes, I’ve been crazy, yes, I’ve been real shady

Always wanted Him to save me, but just didn’t say it

So won’t you tell Him «Save me»

Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

I guess there’s a Sin Savior for all of us

Let’s all stand up