Mitosis vs Meiosis Rap Battle - AsapSCIENCE

You want to take on Mitosis?

Let me get your diagnosis

It says you’re half the man I am

And all your raps are necrosis

Yeah I’m so perfectly perfect

In all my careful divisions

Creating identical versions

While you’re «Oh I’m so different»

Don’t talk to me!

You’ve been around the block too many times

And your duplicate splitting is constantly spitting out

Four daughter nuclei?

Don’t be jealous cause I’m sexy

And I got two sets of phases

I like to mix DNA up

When I’m entering my prophase stages!

You’re like your parents kid

Just like a clone

You see this chromosomal genetic

Combination’s mine own!

I’m independent

My chromosomes don’t need any pairs

At the end there’s only 23

So your mom and dad can share and make

Life!

Yeah I’m the one that

Gives you your offspring

Though my genetic variance can create arrogance

DNA’s changing from New York to Beijing…

Sure, if it weren’t for you

I wouldn’t have kids

But if I wasn’t here

Then you wouldn’t exist

And those babies you keep bringing up?

Awwww, real cute

I’m the one that makes them grow

So you can stop cleaning their puke!

You’re like telophase

The only thing worth admiring is your cleavage

I don’t want to give half of my chromosomes up

What I’ve built in my nucleus is my achievement

I’m like telophase too

I like to kick back and unwind

But I’m secretly Anaphase

Pulling you apart from inside!

I repair the whole body

To make you grow big and strong

If I wanted sex cells

I would just ask your mom

Hey — here’s a question!

Maybe you have the answer

Did you know you’re the main cause

For a whole bunch of cancers?

Yeah, your errors

Cause a lot of conditions

Ouch!

Did that burn?

Better call the physician

Sorry!

Can’t feel your burns

As I can regrow skin

I’ll repair tissue, build membranes

To never let you in

Whatever!

I have Meiosis 1

And of course Meiosis 2

A way more complex process

Making me way better than you

Two successive divisions

4 perfect daughter cells

Each one ends up haploid

Is that your testes thanking me as well?

And I was discovered first

1876 to be exact

So I’m older and wiser than you

And that is a fact

My overabundance and detailed importance

Makes me a bit more complex

So my discovery required

A lot more context

I come from Walther Flemming’s

Genius mind and observations

Look at this cutie’s beard

He’d give anyone stimulation

Well one of my forefathers

Had the hippest glasses and peach fuzz

Gertwig was a hipster

Before everybody was

You see it’s me that makes the gametes

So all of humanity can reproduce

Gotta strive for diversity and progress

So we don’t end up like you — a douche!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Both our chromosomes

Line up on the equator

And we’re mostly stuck in interphase

So let’s try not to be a haters

When it comes to agreeing

One thing we have at least is

That both our epic journeys

End in cytokinesis!