Dance: Ten; Looks: Three - Audrey Landers

Dance, ten

Looks, three

And I’m still on unemployment

Dancing for my own enjoyment

That ain’t it, kid

That ain’t it, kid

«Dance, ten

Looks, three,»

It’s like to die!

Left the theater and

Called the doctor for

My appointment to buy

Tits and ass

Bought myself a fancy pair

Tightened up the derrier

Did the nose with it

All that goes with it

Tits and ass!

Had th bingo-bongos done

Suddenly I’m getting national tours!

Tits and ass won’t get you jobs

Unless they’re yours

Didn’t cost a fortune neither

Didn’t hurt my sex life either

Flat and sassy

I would get the strays and losers

Beggars really can’t be choosers

That ain’t it, kid

That ain’t it, kid

Fixed the chassis

«How do you do!»

Life turned into an

Endless medley

Of «Gee, it had to be you!»

Why?

Tits and ass!

Where the cupboard once was bare

Now you knock and someone’s there

You have got 'em, hey

Top to bottom, hey

It’s a gas!

Just a dash of silicone

Shake your new maracas and you’re fine!

Tits and ass can change your life

They sure changed mine

Have it all done

Honey, take my word

Grab a cab, c’mon

See the wizard on

Park and Seventy-Third

For

Tits and ass

Orchestra and balcony

What they want is whatcha see

Keep the best of you

Do the rest of you

Pits or class

I have never seen it fail

Debutante or chorus girl or wife

Tits and ass

Yes, tits and ass

Have changed my life!