Soph - Bette Midler

I was in the woods last night with my boyfriend Ernie

And he said to me, «Soph»

He always called me Soph

He said to me, «Soph, these woods sure are dark

I sure wish I had a flash light», I said to him, «So do I, Ernie

You have been munching grass for the last ten minutes»

I will never forget it, it was on the occasion of Ernie’s eightieth birthday

And in honor of the occasion, he married a twenty year old girl

And he rang me up the very next day and he said to me, «Soph, Soph

I have just married myself a twenty year old girl, what do you think of that?»

And I said to him, «Ernie, when I am eighty years old

I shall marry myself a twenty year old boy

And let me tell you something

Ernie, twenty goes into eighty a hell of a lot more

Than eighty goes into twenty»

I was in bed last night with my boyfriend Ernie

And he said to me, «Soph, you got no tits and a tight box»

I said to him, «Ernie, get off my back»