Why Bother? - Bette Midler

Oh, human history is a sordid affair

Often I say to myself, «Oh this is horrible

Man’s inhumanity to man.

It’s just awful, it’s…»

Oh, why bother?

Why bother, why bother, why bother?

I try to be rosy

I try to be upbeat

Life is real, life is earnest

Sing Polly Wolly doodle all day

I try to look on the bright side of things and yet

When confronted with the truth

I have to say

Why bother?

Maybe I’ll get a lift

Why bother?

Maybe I’ll get a job

Why bother?

Maybe I’ll get a new car

Why bother?

Maybe I’ll empty an ashtray

Why bother?

It’s so hard to keep your ears clean

Why bother?

There ar millions of wonderful piano players in the world

Listn to the chump I got

Why bother?

You know, modern painting is supposed to be the panacea for all the ills of

modern life

And yet everyone still buys the painting that matches the couch

Why bother?

Do you know that the only museum in Las Vegas is run by Liberace?

Why bother?

France — the country that gave us Renoir, Manet, Monet, Van Gogh,

Gauguin — has hailed Jerry Lewis as a genius…

Why bother?

Calvin Klein wears his own jeans

His own underwear

His own cologne

I still wouldn’t fuck him

I said «Calvin, why bother?»

I have a star named after me on Hollywood Boulevard

It’s under a fire hydrant

Why bother?

I got a new haircut

I have to put a lotta mousse on it to make it look like anything

I got a terrible case of dandruff

My doctor said I was suffering from «mousse abuse»

Why bother?

Dr Ruth…

Why bother?

There are 88 keys on that piano

That motherfucker knows five

Why bother?

Halley’s Comet comes once every 76 years

So do I

Why bother?

I fasted for 25 days

I took a high colonic every day

I lost 3 pounds

My Enemist said, «Why bother?»

You ever read the LA Weekly?

You ever notice how many ads for high colonics they have?

Is this town that full of shit?

Why bother?

Is this what T.S.

Eliot meant by

«the hollow men»

«the stuffed men»

Or did he only mean…

«Why bother?»