Bottom's Gonna Be on Top - Brian D'Arcy James, 'Something Rotten' Company, Kurt Deutsch

No more Mr. Anonymous

No more world that is Nick Bottom-less

My name will be synonymous with being on the top

I can see it now

I’m the cat’s meow

It’s a hit, pow!

It’s gonna be great, gonna be great

Everywhere I go

They will love me so

Hail my name

Oh, it’s gonna be great, gonna be great

Master Bottom, you’re such a wonderful writer

You really think so?

And your talent is talent beyond compare

Why thank you

You’re a star, you are, and you couldn’t be brighter

Now you’re just embarrassing me!

You’re a real visionary

Thank you Jesus and Hail Mary!

This Bottom’s gonna be on top

This Bottom’s gonna be on top

Man, I’m gonna sizzle

Man, I’m gonna pop

And this Bottom’s gonna be on top

This is heaven sent

Feeling confident

Money well spent

It’s gonna be great, gonna be great

Throw a big parade

Praises will be made

Compliments paid

It’s gonna be great, gonna be great

Me and baby are so eternally grateful

You’re who I’m doing it for

Thank you for our cottage in the woods

You deserve it!

If gratitude were a food I’d have a big plateful

Nice metaphor, bro

You’re the greatest

You’re the man

I really shouldn’t say it

But yes I am!

This Bottom’s gonna be on top

This Bottom’s gonna be on top

Once I get going, never gonna stop

Yeah, this Bottom’s gonna be on top

We are the royalty of the Renaissance writers

Now we’re handing down the crown to you

You were a nobody but then overnight you’re someone better than the rest of us

Now you are the best of us

Not.

So.

Fast

Hello, Will.

I knew you wouldn’t go down without a fight

The top sir, nay, thou surely doth jest

I say on my honour here I doth protest

Yawn

Rhyming couplet?

That is so 1580's

Oh yeah?

Well

If you want to make it to the top

Then you’re gonna have to go through me

Cause on the top is where I live

And I will not be giving up that easily

So there

Oh man I have been waiting for this moment for so long

I’m gonna enjoy it when I knock you off your perch

Oh no you won’t

Oh yes I will

Oh no you won’t

Oh yes I will

Will:

Oh no you won’t

Oh yes I will

Oh no you won’t

My accomplishments are much more accomplished than yours

In your dreams

I am the best

You can’t be the best because I am the best

I have written 12 plays and each one is a testament to my great skill

I am the Will

And I wrote the Taming of the Shrew and Richard III and Richard II and Henry’s

IV, V, VI

And Titus Andronicus

And oh did I forget Romeo and Juliet

Well I have just written the thing that the critics are calling the greatest

thing they’ve ever seen

The people are loving it

Can’t get enough of it

Everyone, even including the Queen

She recently invited me to her castle where she knighted me

And privately she told me that you’re not any good, not any good, not any good,

not any good

And she told me that all of your plays make her vomit

And none of them’s as good as my musical Omelette

Wait a minute

You wrote Omelette?

Yes

I never thought that I would meet my equal

But I concede that I’ve been bested by the best

Maybe we could partner on a sequel

Oh my, how the tide has turned

Let’s review

What have we learned

See, you were here

But now we’ve swapped

So kiss this Bottom

I’m on the top

He’s on top

He’s on top

Wah-wah-wah-wah

Yeah this Bottom’s gonna be on top

Yeah this Bottom’s gonna be on top

Yeah this Bottom’s gonna be on top

Bottom’s up

Yeah this Bottom’s gonna be on top