Chair Ass - Bumblefoot

I’ve got a chair attached to my ass for 13 hours every day

Add two more after and before, just getting there and away

Like thrown meat landing on a seat — just vegetating in decay

I’m squattified — too settled in, and melting into pear-shaped dismay

Shapes and textures etched into my back on few occasions whence I stand

Impressions of a cushion pressed into a lazy man

The furniture acts like a cookie-cutter — reforming me like wooden hands on

flattened dough

Till I tear the glue of hair and sweat and go

The vinyl interlocked with dimples grips my body

Till I’m just a finished pile of human relic on a legged place-mat

I fall between the tensing cracks — I feel trapped on the tracks

I don’t need feet — I’m levitated by the seat — yeah, I’ve got chair ass

Yeah, no, something gone wrong

Here, gone, too late, I’m done

My blood pools in my thighs

I bloat and swell cold till I rise

Numb I stand, arms in clammy palms, rubber bones give at the knee

Ankles thick but empty, couldn’t hold the gelatin mold

Watch the cardhouse man fold

Yeah, no, something gone wrong

Here, gone, too late, I’m done

Yeah, no, gone, too late, I’m done

Yeah, no, gone, too late, I’m done