OBBY - Dane Cook

Weve always had creepy people around; somewhere in your life theres

A creepy individual, and it starts off when we’re youngins

When we’re youngins theres a creepy person

Back in school. back in the day… which, by the way

I dont know if you know this, was a Wednesday

Thats a little fun fact

Yeah, when you refer to back in the day, it was a Wednesday

Take that home, chew it. its delicious

Back when we were little tots there was always that one kid in school

That kid in class, smelt like piss. .Right?

Robby was his name. Robby or Obby

He was an Obby name… And Obby didn’t just smell like a hint of piss

He didn’t smell like a smidgen of piss

That kid smelt like he was dipped in a vat of piss

Like he woke up that morning and said, «Woah, bring on the piss!»

And someone brought on the piss

I don’t know who would bring piss on, but you can pretty much

Hire anybody on Google these days ta…

Just type in piss painters or something and im sure somebody would

Come over and coat you down, put a sheet of piss on ya for a reasonable

Price.. He would steal from the class

He was a FUCKIN THEIF. A FUCKING, STEALING, THEIF

He would use his piss vapor as a way to detour you from watching

Him STEAL SHIT from the class. cause hes a theif, a klepto thief Obby…

He would always take my favorite markers, those smelly markers

Remember those? The teacher would put them out, everybody would freak

Give me the red one! Give me the red one! (snuhh haha snuhhhh)

This smells like cherries. (Snuhh) I guarantee you this, its like cherries

But it’s a marker. (Snuhh) Give me the brown one; ill trade you

Give me the. (snuhh). cinnamon! This ones cinnamon

The brown is cinnamon (snuhh). How do they do this? How do they do this?

But the black one always smelled like an asshole, didn’t it?

Youd grab the black one (snuhh) — What is that? (snuhh)

It’s a bag of asses. (snuhh) Im keepin this, this ones mine. (snuhh)

I can’t stop guys, I can’t! (snuhh) I just saw Jesus’s eyes

This marker has shown me Jesus’s eyes…

And even though this marker smelt like an asshole

And you just saw Jesus’s eyes…

There was still a kid following you around — Can I smell it? Can I smell?

What does it smell. I didn’t get uhh. Can I just uh. Uhhh…

Can I smell Uhhhh

And finally he would aggravate you till you were like — Here, fine, smell it!

And when he leaned in you would be like — Arrrggggg!

Hahaha, nice face! Im gonna puke blood, what are you?

WHAT ARE YOU? Arrg