Dear Miss Lucy - Dave's True Story

I’m not inclined

To think you’d mind

If I dropped by for tea

Please excuse me

Dear Miss Lucy

But we need to chat about

Someone I’m mad about

Now it’s a fact

That he’s attached

To your strange artistry

But don’t refuse me

Dear Miss Lucy

Send him back home to me

He should be spending Sundays

Over a charcoal grill

Or tuning the family Hyundai

Not at some bachanalia

Hog-tied in black regalia

That a whip

Should make him flip

Comes as news to me

Still Miss Lucy

Don’t refuse me

Just set the poor boy free

(Break 1)

After I learned to trust him

And gave him my heart to keep

You went ahead and trussed him

Now he sings Rigoletto

Under a black stiletto

You’ve worked in-

To his skin

Like fine cutlery

But don’t refuse me

Dear Miss Lucy

He still belongs to me

(Break 2)

Despite all the tricks you’re skilled in

These are the ties that bind

Flanked by his wife and children

Doing his Rigoletto

Under my black stiletto

So send him 'round

Gagged and bound

Back to his family

Don’t refuse me

Dear Miss Lucy

I’ll do you proud you’ll see

Don’t refuse me

Dear Miss Lucy

He still belongs to me