Barbie - David Wilcox

She was the secret daughter of Marilyn Monroe

You could guess the father if you don’t know

Joan Crawford adopted and called her Baby Jane

But we all knew her by a different name

Barbie, the untold story

Just remember, you heard it first from me

Barbie, the untold story

Tell you the truth for a phenomenal fee

Just when family tensions were at their worst

She met her best friend Ms. Patty Hearst

They found a higher power over at Betty Ford’s

It was a vibrator on a ouija board

She studied theatre at UCLA

And dated OJ once, I’m sorry to say

But then came Ken to star in her play

She was shattered to learn that he was gay

Made a career leading cheers for the LA Lakers

Then became the main mistress of the Reverend Jim Baker

Helped him hear his messages from the lord

With a vibrator and a ouija board