Allentown - Ed Helms

Well we’re living here in Allentown

And he’s driven our lives into the ground

When we woke up we were wasted and drunk

Phil got shot, we got beaten by a monk

I was happy and my life was good

Getting married like a dentist should

Roasting marshmallows on a stick

I got fucked in the ass by a girl with a dick

And we’re living here in Allentown

But they’re taking Teddy’s finger now

And I’m pretty sure I’m gonna lose my shit

And shoot Allen in the face

And shoot myself