Shady Rachel - Flight Of The Conchords

This is a jazz tune called shady Rachel

If you don’t like jazz then now’s a good time to take 5

That’s one for the Brubeck fans

Yeah, a lot of people wondering how we got here tonight

Well we caught

It’s a great way to get from A to B flat sus

It all started when I invited Rachel round to one of my parties you know

All my friends were there, Shifty, Shifty Pete, Sneaky Steven, Regifting David

He showed up and gave me that birthday present I gave him last year

I gave you that book

You were there Jazzy Jim

I remember I turned up to his party

I remember ringing doorbell, I just did a little

A ding dong zoo-bah doo-bah doo-bah zee-bow

I don’t even hear a doorbell

I improvize it, I improvize it, I’m a jazz… musician

The party was

Long-winded Tim was one of his meandering anecdotes

And enjoying their soup

Well I mean some people were enjoying it but I have one thing

I keep mentioning this to him, he has these soup parties

And he only has one spoon, he insists everyone uses it

Why can’t we just bring a spoon?

He doesn’t want people to get mixed up

Says no, no, use a spoon, I got a spoon

I only need one spoon, I’m a jazz man

I know, I know (I live alone)

Well okay but I was sitting right next to Coleslaw Eleanor and Herpes Herbin

It was around midnight I found my spoon was missing

I thought ah, there’s only one person would take a man’s only spoon

That’s shady Rachel

Might have been Thieving Steven, I suspect

I went round to her place I said «Rachel, open up the door I wanna take a look

in your cutlery draw»

And it was worse than I first anticipated

She had 8 spoons in that draw

That’s a normal amount of spoons to have

Who the hell has 8 spoons man, what the hell she do with all those spoons?

Rachel she’s got 6 kids and she lives with her mother

She needs her 8 spoons

Well I found my spoon, it has the handle, the long handle part

And the scooping part that differentiates it from afar

Okay, I’m just gonna say, we’re just gonna make one more point

That’s a very generic description of every spoon

Well shady Rachel kicked me out that door

Out on the street, a man without a spoon

Take it to fellas

Oh, I was alone without a spoon

I just wanted some yogurt

At 3AM my phone rang

It’s a jazzy phone

Are you gonna answer this phone or

What’s happening?

You gonna answer this phone, I don’t wanna hyperventilate here

Oh I’m sorry

I answered the phone, it was shady Rachel

She said baby I need your help «I need your help»

I said what’s the problem?

She said there’s some creepy dude in the tree outside my apartment

I said well what’s he doing

She said he’s talking on his phone

I said, baby, that’s me

She said I’m calling the police!

I said, yeah you call the police baby

What you gonna tell them when they find all those stolen spoons?

Well she did call the police, and they showed up

Had a real jazzy siren

It turn out she’d called the jazz police

I was incarcerated for crimes against jazz

Locked up with various, felonious pokes

Yeah alright

Shady Rachel, if you’re listening baby

I got one last thing to say to you

I want my spoon back

I gotta dig my way outta here