The Deepest Sighs, the Frankest Shadows - Gretta Ray

There’s a sky full of lights and none of them stars

But each white, silvery flicker’s a faithful reminder to us

Of a weight that’s in youth that makes a dick of us all

If it happened today, then it’s probably happened before

In a crowd unfamiliar, I just wanna touch a familiar face

And make friends at the parties I’ve feared the likes of an age

To be wanted with truth and make formidable love

See light in myself that I see inside everyone else I know

It’s not a lacking of spine, nor of physical pulse

It’s just a feeling of distance akin to a feeling of loss

Of love in the youth of my limited life

That passed in a violent and ritual screwing inside

And the years unfamiliar are made of increasingly digital days

And I am grieving the loss of myself with frightening malaise

When there’s weightness in youth and the sum of it’s small

Just stand in the darkness and laugh with your heel on its throat

'Cause not everything means something, honey

So say the unsayable, say the most human of things

And if everything is temporary

I will bear the unbearable, terrible triteness of being

Alone in my house, frozen in time

But don’t get me wrong now, honey, I am trying

There’s a warmth in the eyes and a clearness of thought

When the deepest of sighs and the frankest of shadows are gone

We’re pushing a stone up a mountainous waste

And the lines at the store look like lines on a beautiful face

See, I’m not so assured

Nor unusually strong or outstandingly brave

I’m more just fumbling around in the dark for the bulk of my day

When there’s weight that’s in youth and the sum of it’s small

I will stand in the darkness and laugh with my heel on its throat

And not everything means something, honey

So say the unsayable, say the most human of things

And if everything is temporary

I will bear the unbearable, terrible triteness of being

Alone in my house, frozen away

But don’t get me wrong now, honey, I’m okay

Ah, cast me a line

Ah, honey, cast me a line

Won’t you fear me tonight?

Goddamn do you fear me tonight?

Ah, pass me a light

Ah, honey, pass me a light

Won’t you feel me tonight?

Goddamn do you feel me tonight?

'Cause not everything means something, honey

So say the unsayable, say the most human of things

If everything is temporary

I will bear the unbearable, terrible triteness of being