Speed Trap (Out Of State Cars) - Hoyt Axton

I’m the cop in a little bitty town

And I don’t get much pay

Oh, but I caught seventeen out of state cars

And four of my friends today.

Yeah, I let the hometown boys go home

They paid five dollars bail

Oh, but all the drivers in the out of state cars

Had to go to jail.

Well, they hollered and they moaned

And they cried and they groaned

They all swore that they’d sue

But the judge was high and so was I And we needed the money too.

Yeah, the judge and me got a deal

you see we split the money fair

Except for thirty percent to the county seat

To keep the law out of our hair.

And old Charlie’s working out real good

Down at the corner store where the red light is He sees them out of state plates two blocks away

And when they get right up on top of that green light

Old Charlie pushes that secret button

Underneath the corner drugstore counter

That yellow light only lasts for a tenth of a second.

Oh, the county pays me about forty a week

Ain’t that the living end

If it wasn’t for them tourists in them out of state cars

I’d have no look to spend.

But the way it stands this year so far

I’ve made a hundred thou

For a high school dropout I’m a doin' fine

I make more than the president now, Of course he’s honest.

So if you’re driving down the road

And flashing lights you see

If they’re on a top of a red Rolls Royce

You can bet your boots it’s me.

'Cause I’m the cop in a little bitty town

And I’d sure like to see

All the drivers in them out of state cars

Try to get by me…