Calamity Jane - James Reyne

There’s a lot of dust on Calamity Jane

She’s been out ridin' fences

And shootin' up my wagon train again

She’s got a heart like like a hammer

And eyes like thunder

How many beds have her boots been under?

And she’s a-kickin' my cud in the mud

In the Deadwood rain

I had Jumped Up Jim

Tattooed across my brow

Well, I’d come ridin' into town

The shutters’d all be down

But I’d shut 'em down anyhow

Like a bat outa hell, well I landed

Then I got whipped

Hog-tied and branded

Castigated, reprimanded

I danced like a dang Fandango man

'Til I got broke and bowed

I am two fools I know

One, for lovin'

Two, for sayin' so

Your Jumped Up Jim is just sweet little Jimmy now

Don’t forget the boat and the water

They’ve got something going with each other

You should never let them call the tune

In agreement with those plotters

That moon the rake, the wind their brother

They’ve gone off on their honeymoon

Out where the skies are a whole lot bluer

I thought our love was a whole lot truer

Still, you don’t learn much when everything goes right

Moonbows and sailing stones

Better leave them all alone

Or they’ll have you paddle-less up the creek

In matters of the misses

There is one who kisses

And the other who offers the cheek