His Pleasure Is My Pain - Jewel

A man stands in the doorway like a small child, angry fists

She lies in her bed, her head buried in her pillow, she stares at the moon

He speaks to her, all the words she’s heard too many times before

And pretty soon she just lets his voice fade away

She thinks this was a gradual steel frost that started with cold feet

And ended with numb hearts

It was once satisfying sex, but now no longer is

It was once filled with all the possibilities of new China or old stone

But now it’s exaggerated and water-logged

No longer what these hands had intended and still I cry in my sleep

He always said I was too sensitive

But I say, least I never meant to make him cry

Least I never meant to make him hurt that way

No, I never meant to make him cry

I never meant to make him hurt that way

Yes it’s true, I’m too sensitive but

He takes pleasure in my pain

Yes it’s true, I’m too sensitive but

He takes pleasure in my pain

And the unheard hours they fly by, she goes to the window

Puts on a nightgown and brushes her hair

He’s already asleep by the time she goes to lay back down

She thinks, my God, what am I doing here

My bones have grown tired of his hunger, of his grey eyes

And I feel that if I were to stay one more night here I’d die

Or explode, or worse yet, just fade away

And there’ve been days so dark when I felt like August

And that I soon too would have to turn to Fall

He always said I was too sensitive

If I dared to care so much, the world could kill me that way

I wonder if he’s only half alive or if he simply has always lacked such subtlety

But I say, at least I ever meant to make him cry

At least I never meant to make him hurt this way

No, I never meant to make him cry

I never meant to make him hurt this way

Yes it’s true, I’m too sensitive but

He takes pleasure from my pain

She gets out of bed and looks at her feet as though

They were the wings for her freedom

She gets up and goes to the drawer

It’s a moment in which anything can happen

As she gets out some clothing, puts them in a bag

And leaves him sleeping while she heads for the door

Gone

Gone