An Audience with You - John Wesley Harding

Your footman barred me from the door

Said I couldnt see you no more

Whats with this bureaucracy

When I filled the forms you left for me Hes a loyal man who waits for you

Where loyalty is such taboo

Sixteen keyholes in one straight line

I look through them from time to time

The weather down your end looks fine

But the forecasts grim down mine

Im no gamble better understand

I like to know the story plan

People say I got no sense

But Im waiting for an audience with you

And all the wrestlers youve employed

And all the boys with whom you toyed

You tell me please dont get annoyed

Youre behaving like some helen of troy

I dont care for original sin

Its a stupid world were living in Your paid assassin makes me wait

He eats with fingers off his plate

He says youve got a pressing date

With r.i.ps and heads of state

I know that he wont let me in Cos villains always have bad skin

People say I got no sense

But Im waiting for an audience with you

A plastic surgeons your best friend

Hes got the means to any end

Hes so efficient, youre so vain

So we wont see your face again

Heaven knows how hard you tried

Hell was such a bumpy ride

The widow with the holy eyes

Got a pistol strapped into her thighs

Says youre as sweet as apple pie

You only get so bitchy cos youre shy

But thats a load of papal bull

I put you on that pedestal

People say I got no sense

But Im waiting for an audience with you

Give me the strength of hercules

His fallen arches, water knees

And please please let me be like I oughtta be Lost and lonely, hurt and happy

With a singers vanity

Now everything seems like a myth

The strength that I have performed with

Two thousand stairs and theres no lift

Gonna get to the top and theres no if Whats for me when I get there

Is it just wheelchairs and grey hair

And never was one letter sent

I told the truth but told it bent

Thats the custom thats the law

But dont ask me the reason for

Im just a boy in love with you

Im rejected by the things you do People say I got no sense

But Im waiting for an audience with you