Chiron Beta Prime - Jonathan Coulton

This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons

You may recall we had some trouble last year

The robot council had us banished to an asteroid

That hasn’t undermined our holiday cheer

And we know it’s almost Christmas

By the marks we make on the wall

And that’s our favorite time of year

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

Where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords

Did I say overlords?

I meant protectors

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

On every corner there’s a giant metal Santa Claus

Who watches over us with glowing red eyes

They carry weapons and they know if you’ve been bad or good

Not everybody’s good but everyone tries

And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow

It’s like a winter wonderland

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

Where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords

Did I say overlords?

I meant protectors

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

That’s all the family news that we’re allowed to talk about

We really hope you come and visit us soon

I mean we’re literally begging you to visit us

And make it quick before they (MESSAGE REDACTED)

Now it’s time for Christmas dinner

I think the robots sent us a pie!

You know I love my soylent green

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

Where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords

Did I say overlords?

I meant protectors

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime