De-Evolving - Jonathan Coulton

I guess you’ve noticed that my arms don’t fit in my old suits

I guess you’ve noticed that I’m eating lots of jungle fruits

Anyway more than I used to

I used to be so tall and thin

Now I’m not exactly sure which phylum I’m in

And I know there’s a monkey in the future for you

And there’s nothing modern science can do

Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb

I’m devolving, I’m devolving

I am de-evolving

I guess you’ve noticed that I can’t sit still at dinnertime

I guess you’ve noticed that I quit my job and I learned to sign

Anyway more than I used to

I used to have a little body hair

Now I have to use a razor everywhere

And I know there’s a monkey in the future for you

And there’s nothing modern science can do

Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb

I’m devolving, I’m devolving

I am de-evolving

Why get so angry at me?

I don’t understand how you expect me to defend my actions

Knowing what you now know

Monkey one and monkey two

Monkey me and monkey you

Monkey see and monkey

Do you still love me

Now that I’m a monkey?

I guess you’ve noticed that I drag my knuckles when I dance

I guess you’ve noticed that I stuff a tail inside my pants

Anyway more than I used to

I used to see a movie now and then

Now I’m never gonna watch King Kong again

Because I know there’s a monkey in the future for you

And there’s nothing modern science can do

Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb

I’m devolving, I’m devolving

I am de-evolving

I’m devolving

De-evolving

I’m a coal miner’s daughter