Over There - Jonathan Coulton

Take a boat, take a plane

Go to London, go to Spain

Take a train from Amsterdam to Monaco

Take a loved one if you think

They enjoy things that stink

Cause everything is different over there

When you’re in Belgium you can eat

A lot of mayonnaise with your frites

And no one will say hey that’s too much mayonnaise

Enjoy a German sausage hall

Eat an Italian meatball

But I hope you don’t want a Twinkie

Because they don’t have Hostess Twinkies over there

Over there you’ll never feel at ease

Cause there’s not much soap and there’s too much cheese

And everyone wears clogs and rides on trains

Over there they’ll make you regret that you ever

Saved their asses in World War II

Don’t make me go over there

Cause I enjoy my freedom here

And I enjoy light-colored beer

I like to take showers

And I like to brush my teeth every day

Twice a day

They say that there’s a place in France

Where the naked ladies dance

You can find it if you ask around

And there’s a hole there in the wall

Where the men can see it all

But the men don’t care

Because they chew their underwear

And the underwear they chew costs a dollar ninety-two

And the men go around with their ding dongs hanging down

Over there you’ll never feel at ease

Cause there’s not much soap and there’s too much cheese

And everyone wears clogs and rides on trains

Over there they’ll make you regret that you ever

Saved their asses in World War II

Don’t make me go over there

No don’t make me go over there

Don’t make me go over there