Suicidal Thoughts - Josh A, Iamjakehill

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die

I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright

But every day I feel like dying

Every day I feel like dying (Dying)

Why do I even try?

Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life when I'm battling pain and my demons at night

Trying to find a new outlet

The devil pouncin'

I hear him howlin', my vision cloudin'

Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way

Try to be strong when I deal with the pain, yuh

But I'm ditching the coffin, so my family has options

Gotta work till' I'm dead

So that they get the best

Don't wanna set up a bad example cause kids looking up

Can't leave in shambles can't make them think clocking out's ok

So fuck suicide I'm here to stay

Try to free my mind

I don't know what's right

Wasting all my time, tryna find the light

Try to free my mind

I don't know what's right

Wasting all my time, tryna find the light, nah, man

I'll be out here runnin', I'll be runnin' from myself now

Gunnin' demons down find my way out of this hell now

I'll be runnin' now, I'll be runnin' from myself now

Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now

[Chorus: Jake Hill]

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die

I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright

But every day I feel like dying

Every day I feel like dying (Dying)

One too many bad thoughts inside me

Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me

I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice

I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always

Barely standing, crawling down the hallways

Sink into my bed, with death inside my head

Yeah, that note you found I didn't mean it

Just wish I had a better sense of meaning

Never meant to let you down

I've been down and now racing thoughts had to drown them out, fuck!

Never giving in I swear to god, no matter how many times I pray to a god

I don't believe in just to see if I will never wake up

But he called my bluff

Try to free my mind

I don't know what's right

Wasting all my time, tryna find the light

Try to free my mind

I don't know what's right

Wasting all my time, tryna find the light, nah, man

I'll be out here runnin', I'll be runnin' from myself now

Gunnin' demons down find my way out of this hell now

I'll be runnin' now, I'll be runnin' from myself now

Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die

I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright

But every day I feel like dying

Every day I feel like dying (Dying)

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die

I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright

But every day I feel like dying

Every day I feel like dying (Dying)