Shadowboxing - Julien Baker

Born cutting teeth on the curb

Summoning ghosts up from the concrete

Keeping me company while I learned

Shadowboxing with giants

That grew from our feet

I know that you don’t understand

'Cause you don’t believe what you don’t see

When you watch me throwing punches at the devil

Ooh, it just looks like I’m fighting with me

But there’s a comfort in failure

Singing too loud in church

Screaming my fears into speakers

'Til I collapse or I burst

Whichever comes first

I know you were trying to help

But you’re only making it worse

Tell me that I shouldn’t blame myself

But you can’t even imagine how badly it hurts

Just to think sometimes

How I think almost all the time

So break me down

Folded over your arms

Like an unloaded shotgun

Dismantled and harmless

Even you couldn’t manage to pull

The fuse from the back of my head

When you tell me you love me

Tell me you loved me

I wanted so bad to believe it

So tell me you love me

Tell me you loved me

I wanted so bad

I wanted so bad to believe you