Awake in the Dirt - Kevin Devine

Dad I know

You can’t see

My actions as

A plea for peace

You can’t get past

The rocks stained red

The nailbomb blast

The doctor, dead

Your prairie dream

Your liberal heart

Your patient mind

Your father’s arms

They just won’t do

They just can’t fit

It’s them, not Marx

You can blame for this

Alive in the dirt

Alive in the dirt

I am still, sainted and waiting

For my perfect pain to speak through me again

Dad, I found God

Through Vietnam

My Lai’s graves

Agent Orange

See, we live lies

We have to choose

Our bombs speak loud

So I spoke, too

Then disappeared

10 miles from home

Newark slum

Where you won’t go

It’s here I’ve found

My higher self

A life that works

And suits me well

I pray for the dirt

I pray for the dirt

And I ask to suffer in silence

To stay here in hell

Awake in the dirt

My stutter lifts

My words come clear

Your little girl

She’s just not here

I am sure

At my death

The truth will float

On God’s sweet breath

Until that time

Don’t ask for me

Behind this veil

Is where I’ll be

At one with the dirt

At one with the dirt

I’m at peace, sainted and waiting

For my perfect pain to cover me for good