One Way Widow - Les Savy Fav

She was sweet sixteen

Baby beauty queen

Straight white teeth

Bathed in beauty cream

Priss don’t drink and priss don’t smoke

Shit don’t stink and don’t take jokes

Botoxed in bobby socks

Cold as ice

All the boys where like white on rice

The end result is still the same

You can’t go back the way you came

Drink on mint juleps on the tennis court

The wealthy widow wanted more than sport

The tennis pro thought it was inappropriate

The wealthy widow thought that they should go for it

She giggled, pickled

Tanned as leather

Sacks of sand in her cashmere sweater

Oh Madame, the way you waste my time

It’s so divine

Kissing the concrete you’d swear it was skin

Her manicure secretes original sin

Oh Madame, your taste for steak and wine

Serves to impress me

You’re so vain, I bet you don’t think this song is about you

Profane Jane

(You can’t go back the way you came

The end result is still the same)

You’re so vain, you probably don’t think this song is about you

Champagne Jane

(You can’t go back the way you came

The end result is still the same)

So many eager sinners

Only seven deadly sins

Hell’s so goddamn crowded

That there’s no one getting in

The line goes to the river Styx

But she can get you in

It was work but the work was fun

What will they say when they see what we done?

What will they say when they see what we do?

One of us has got to go

One of us has got to cum

Bury me in mistletoe

Put a dollar on my tongue

You’re so vain

You’re so vain