Fear With Flying - Loudon Wainwright III

Who’s afraid of flying

I’m just afraid of crashing

That’s why my face is whitening

And my teeth I’m gnashing

Jesus, can you save us

I’ll become Jehovah’s witness

The stewardess is smiling

But I know she’s scared shitless

Who’s afraid of dying

I’m just afraid of bleeding

Tears of fear I’m crying

And my mama I am needing

The pilot assures us

It’s merely an airpocket

Satan can you save us

I’ve got a soul I’ll hock it

Don’t give me statistics

Statistics I’m not buying

I’d rather cross the street

Newton wasn’t lying

Strewn along some runway

Or squashed against some mountain

There are so many other ways

I’d rather go and count them