Misery Loves Comedy - Louis Logic

You ever notice how your life is rolling by you

It isn’t what it seems

I wrote this down so you’d know that I knew

This is just a dream

It’s the fictitious stuff ya see as voyeurs

The same tricks that make us believe in lawyers

They sell the same lies to the girls and boys

For your whole life, telling you the worlds ya oyster

If that’s the case I’m allergic to seafood

Castaway and that’s what they serve when they feed you

So you’re covered in goiters now love and enjoy us

Move the waistline and in eight days time you see through

Who’s to say it’ll improve today

You could lose some weight, you didn’t want to lose your way

And life is one of those books where you choose your fate

You could hang yourself but I bet the noose would break

Hey I guess you gotta try and laugh at it

'Cuz mathematically it’s half tragic and half havoc

Dag nabbit, who woulda ever thought

I’d get the short straw outta life if I grabbed at it

I’m on a path padded down by sore feet

Feelin' like the last cat in town where dogs eat

King of the fools on a short leash

I used to laugh at the clowns who had on the crown before me

Well now I’m chucklin' at my own expense

It doesn’t cost me the bucks that I’ve been known to spend

On what a simple cup of coffee and doughnut can

It’s like save the children but for grown up men, friends

I’m in a zen place sportin' a Jen’s face

Though I’m a chump I’m over the hump like Wednesdays

I don’t go for most of the junk my friends say

I let it roll over my cold shoulder like BenGay

That’s the best way to treat disaster

Cuz if you let regret stay it eats you faster

Your breastplate shakes when you breathe with asthma

Death may take ya to greener pastures

I need a pastor, a priest, a rabbi ain’t ashamed if I asked to beseech the bad

guy

To blame for the fact that I lead a sad life

Ashamed to pack up and leave my campsite

You gotta find a way to laugh right

Well I’m practically pissin' my pants over this damn ride

And I don’t wanna end up missin' my chance for me to grab my slice from the

dish in advance

Man, I spend a lot of time listenin' to cants instead of opening the lid on the

cans

If I put half my time spent on bitchin' and rants and do a plan I could slip

away from the trance

But I guess this is the dance, the life I lead

My lawn isn’t grass, it’s thigh high weeds

My wife lives with my man beside my street

So I see her kiss him again every time I leave

And I’m just trying to find my speed.

Fuckin' jimminy crickets

I got another cop givin' me tickets

What would my life be if it didn’t seem wicked

Even my landlord said she would love to get me evicted

That’s cold, I’d expect a mother to stick with

Her own struggling nitwit son who’s a misfit

Asshole, but nothing can fix it

I’d put my trust in lady luck if she wasn’t sadistic

But I’ve had so little success of being elated

At the prospect of rest and being cremated

And right now I’m thinkin' of puttin' this mic down

'Cuz bein' dead is better than bein' hated

This ain’t quite how I was picturin' my career

They’re stickin' it in my rear, these are not my terms

And I figured I’m in the clear since they got me burned

'Til the funeral director went and dropped my urn

Well I guess you gotta learn to laugh at it

When you’re the brunt of your own joke it doesn’t seem as tragic

Take it from someone who knows folks

There ain’t a mathematic pattern for outrunning your own woes

Well so goes your role at the zoo

It still isn’t what it seems

I wrote this down so you’d know that I knew

This is just a dream