Thumbs Again - Lucy Dacus

You hung up the phone

And I asked you what was wrong

Your dad has come to town

He’d like to meet

I said «You don’t have to see him»

But for whatever reason you can’t tell him no

So we meet him at a bar

You were holding my hand hard

He ordered rum and coke

I can’t drink either anymore

He hadn’t seen you since the fifth grade

Now you’re nineteen and you’re five-eight

He said «Honey, you sure look great

Do you get the checks I send on your birthday?»

I would kill him

If you let me

I would kill him

Quick and easy

Your nails are digging

Into my knee

I don’t know

How you keep smiling

I love your eyes

And he has them

But you have his

'Cause he was first

I imagine my thumbs on the irises

Pressing in until they burst

I clear my throat

And say we ought to get home

He offers us a ride

I reply «No, that’s alright»

When we leave

You feel him watching

So we walk a mile in the wrong direction

I would kill him

If you let me

I would kill him

Quick and easy

Your nails are digging

Into my knee

I don’t know

How you keep smiling

I don’t know

How you keep smiling

I don’t know

How you keep smiling

I wanna take your face between my hands and say

«You two are connected by a pure coincidence

Bound to him by blood, but baby, it’s all relative

You’ve been in his fist ever since you were a kid

But you don’t owe him shit even if he said you did

You don’t owe him shit even if he said you did»