The Prince's Panties - Mason Williams

There was once a prince who acted strangely in that

He thought life was stupid and it was for him so

He made up a world in which he liked the things we liked

But he had different reasons why he liked them

He liked butter for its color

He would order toast and color

Waitresses, confused would utter

Sir, I’ve never heard of toast and color

He’d get angry and begin to choke them

The law would come, and they’d arrest and book him

So his life was a mess of trouble

Still he kept it up

He had dogs, a hundred cocker spaniels and he

Called them panties, 'cause they did that mostly, and he

Did not care at all if they would bark and fetch sticks

Run and jump, roll over, and play dead tricks

No, he liked them only for their panting

So he would run them ragged, but one day they got fed up

And chased the prince right up against the fence

And the prince was eaten by his panties