Pr0n S0ng - MC Frontalot

Click, close

You got to click, close

Just got hard-pressed underneath my desk

No jest!

It’s time Frontalot confessed:

At the best of times, got the worst of rhymes

And I don’t think I’m the first to find

My life devoted less to lyrics

Than it is to my struggle for pyrrhic

Victory in the race to be

The interweb’s number one devotee

Of smutty little things that occur onscreen

(Risqué to — hey! — quintuple-x obscene):

MILFs who shave themselves so cleanly;

Twins in positions unseemly

My spleen ain’t the part that gets vented

I grabbed a hold and fapped like I meant it

Distended, probably oughta leave it alone

Spend more time stroking on the microphone

Got a boatload of midgets and they’re in command

Of a full-grown woman on her knees and hands

Got a long hard donkey and a farm girl too

And the braying’s so dismaying when he starts to spoo

Got to click close, put it away

‘Cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y

Lurking in #pass chans on the IRC

Got DCC’d unexpectedly

With an 80-minute XviD: Nuns In Heat

Part III: Bad Habits.

I’m so leet

That I had that one already

Skipped to the part with the fishnet teddy

Whipped it out, but to my chagrin

One toss from a win when the boss walked in

Said «nuh-uh Front, that terminal ain’t

For a latex crucifix spanking a taint

In big 32-bit color

While them rosary beads get yanked out the cruller.»

I said «you can’t fire me;

I quit!»

Opened up the case, yanked out the hard disk

Absconded, all with the data in hand:

31 years of Hustler scans;

Plans for how to construct a love-swing;

Alt.binaries.everything

Archived since spring of '92;

Receipt for my RealDoll’s stripper shoes;

Tools for an online poll I ran

(Vote once, tub girl or goatse man);

Glands galore, explore for hours;

Diaper play and roman showers;

Glory hole video, deep as it gets;

Mpegs of an heiress that she ought regret

Cap’d on cam from a hijacked feed

Half a terabyte, so whatcha need?

Got grannies in the front, trannies in the back

Red on brown on blond on black

Ganged up, tied up, all alone:

Every delectation to which I’m prone

Got the Japanese schoolgirl tentacle love

Got the furries in a flurry, they been yiffing it up

Got a Craigslist poster trading poo for pee

Got a deep dark dungeon full of hot bi Swedes

Got to click close, put it away

‘cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y

Click close, put it away

Cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y

Gotta click close

Gotta click close

The backslash on my keyboard’s stuck

Mouse wheel don’t turn ‘cause it’s all gummed up