The Fallacy - Momus

If God didn’t want me to play with myself

He wouldn’t have given me pockets

If God had intended that life never ended

Why did the bugger make death

If God didn’t want me to tear out my eyes

He wouldn’t have given them sockets

So I took a spoke and poked out my eye

He moves in mysterious ways

If God hadn’t wanted transvestites

He wouldn’t have made me attractive

Dressed up in dresses, my guess he blesses

The beautiful just for being naive

If God had required me to stay with you

He wouldn’t have given me railways

You remain in the cave, I’m riding the train

Much requires much of Marines

If God didn’t mean me to kill people

He wouldn’t have given them life, would he

If God didn’t want mean to murder that cockney

Why did he give me this knife

(It only stands to reason, don’t it

It’s only logical

There’s a reason behind everything

Everything that happens in this life, dear

It’s his message, isn’t it

He put the knife right in my hand)

But God did believe in my freedom

That’s why he put me between prison walls

Here in my cell, I’m living to tell you

He moves in mysterious ways

If God didn’t mean me to hang myself

Why make this hook in the ceiling

And why make bananas, sheets and pajamas

He moves in mysterious ways