Vertigo - Near Death Condition

A simple glance into the past and I suddenly realize

In a maelstrom of bitterness and disgust

That dreams enlightening my childhood

Have been shattered like waves against the rocks

Thus looking towards the future

There is nothing but emptiness and decrepitude

Of a life that fills with hate and frustrations

At the rhythm of my painful heartbeats

Contemplating the celestial sphere

This great void surrounding us and making us cease

To matter

Reinforcing my conviction that god has forgotten

Us

In eternity of nothingness that our extinction

Would not undermine

I finally turn my eyes towards the most absolute

Emptiness

The one to which the noblest feelings are assigned

Catalyzer of suffering, overwhelmed by debilitating

Emotions

That only dereliction can annihilate

Focused on our miserable and dusty existence

Insignificant while we’re contemplating this world

From the seat left vacant by god

Long gone to cry the bereavement of his creation

Nothing is immutable, nothing stays

Sentenced to roam into the throes of time

Enslaved by flesh, real infirmity of mind

The need for a mean to annihilate ourselves remains

Vertigo

Above the void of existence

That makes me lose my marks

I can give no sense to this

And need to end it all

But it’s my addiction to suffering

That still keeps me alive