Hot River - Nick Mason

Do you long to cavort?

Here’s a new water sport

That you ought to try

It’s a Fahrenheit dream

Hot and covered with steam

You won’t be bored

Do you want to get wet?

Are you starting to sweat?

Slip over the side

Now we’re caught in a swell

Here’s where Heaven and Hell

Start to collide

It’s slippery and slimy

Reach over here and tie me

I’m so warm I can hardly move

Mother never told me

I’d need someone to hold me

But where I’m from the rivers are all cold

It’s a fisherman’s dream

Dinner’s already steamed

And ready to eat

When you feel your resolve

Is about to dissolve

Then stop for a treat

In a river of steam

Nothing seems too obscene

So let down your hair

While you drift through a trough

Slip your bathing suit off

And really get clean

You can do your laundry

While your thoughts are wandering

And you watch the passing swimmer’s poach

You don’t need no Sterno

In Dante’s Inferno

It’s thermohydriatically controlled

You can’t stay in too long

'Cause the heat is too strong

You’re starting to slide

Grab ahold of the rope

Throw your soap in the boat

Climb over the side

We can come back for more

When we start to get bored

There’s nothing as wild

As a Hot River swim

On the volcanic rim