Creative Drug - Nowhere

I’m not allowed to miss anyone I willingly left

I thrive and I’m alone and right now I’m vigorous

I have eyes for everyone

and I write in lines of drugs cause I use you like I use this

To hide from the light an' moon like an addict

so please, please, please

so please let me wipe my feet off on your cheek before I enter your open mind —

which

just so happens to be an open wound — and just so happens to be just for me-

and I

just so happen to forget what happens to you when you figure out that you’re

being used

The lightbulb always comes too late, like I’ve already burned my escape — an

escaped

— I never asked for this cape to be pinned to my back but covers up the finger

nail

graves and I like the way that makes me feel so I let you let me keep it intact

Dressing up my feelings as fact

you slip the black mask over my face

thats when I learned that great minds think alike

but bad minds think exactly the same

we used each other in bad taste

and I can’t change, you can’t change

you can’t change, you can’t change

and I can’t change your mind, but I can change your clothes

and I can’t make things right but I can get close

I told myself to never write about love,

I told myself to stick to what I know

the more I learn, the more I learn how much I don’t

My desire to create and get higher suppreses my urge to want to die right here,

to die right now

I want to bury my pain into something and someone else

I’m always looking for an outlet

a being or thing to love

a new outlet for my suffering

chopping up the latest creative drug and I take it to the brain when I breathe

it in

the steam, the trip, the energy I get, it’s only for one moment

it’s strange using your arm like an 8-ball

and using you like a one night stand

and most people won’t understand

that my dayjob is rehab and I don’t wanna be sober

I don’t wanna get to know her

I just wanna unknow myself and be reminded later

it’s always darkest before the dawn

but it’s darker with sunglasses on

but I wear 'em on in inside because when I create I’m an insomniac

and everyone thinks I’m on crack

but fuck it what’s the difference?

Dependence is dependence, it depends on the way you look at it

An addict is an addict

and I can’t live without it, I don’t know how to live without it

I don’t know how to function

I’m not somewhere that I haven’t been and I’m not good at being home,

and I’m not good at sitting still

and my soul has ADHD and I’m definitely mentally ill

and I don’t have a prescription for script, I can fill it out for myself

the street runs for street drugs and I think think this street leads straight

to hell

and I’m on a streak of losing so inevitably time will tell

But I’ll tell that I’m telling you that I really don’t miss my old self

Or any of the ones that have abused me

because I’m not allowed to

I left 'em so

willingly