Poor Unfortunate Souls - Queen Latifah

I admit that, in the past, I’ve been a nasty

They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, «a witch»

But you’ll find that nowadays I’ve mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch

True?

Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic

It’s a talent that I always have possessed

And here lately, please don’t laugh

I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed

«Pathetic»

Poor unfortunate souls in pain, in need

This one longing to be thinner

This one wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad, so true

They come flocking to my cauldron

Crying, «Spells, Ursula, please!»

And I help them!

Yes, I do

Now, it’s happened once or twice

Someone couldn’t pay the price

And I’m afraid I had to rake them 'cross the coals

Yes, I’ve had the odd complaint

But on the whole I’ve been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

Now, here’s the deal: If you dare

There’s a potion I’ll prepare

Just consume and you’ll be human

Three whole days up above

By the end of day 3

Listen up this is key

Just convince Mr. Prince

And get a kiss of true love

If I do?

Lucky you

You stay human through and through

You can go, wed your beau

And be totally divine

And if not?

Then guess what, girl?

You’ll turn back into a Mer-Girl

Same as you once were, girl

But that tail will be mine!

Don’t be shy, dear

What will it be?

You want the guy, dear?

Leave it to me

But what about my father?

And my family?

Hmm…

Sorry, dear

There’s no way to spin it

Life’s full of tough choices, innit?

One last thing, silly me

Did I mention there’s a fee?

Nothing choice, just your voice

No more talking, singing, zip

Not a word?

Not a note

Not a whisper from your throat

But--

Show some spine, you’ll be fine

Honey, here’s a little tip:

You’ll have your looks!

Your pretty face!

And don’t underestimate the importance of body language, ha!

The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber

They think a girl who gossips is a bore

Yes, on land it’s much preferred

For ladies not to say a word

And after all, dear, what is idle babble for?

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead, make your choice!

I’m a very busy woman

And I haven’t got all day

It won’t cost much

Just your voice!

You poor unfortunate soul

It’s sad, but true

If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet

You’ve got to pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and sign the scroll!

Flotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her, boys!

The boss is on a roll!

Those poor unfortunate souls

Beluga, sevruga

Come winds of the Caspian Sea

Larengix glaucitis

Et max laryngitis

La voce to me

Now… sing

Aa-aa-aah, a-aa-aah

Keep singing!

Aa-aa-aah, a-aa-aah