Don't Tempt Me - Richard Thompson

That gorilla you’re dancing with

May not have too long to live

He’s putting his hands in the wrong places

Time to rearrange his face

He’s gonna dance with me instead

I’m gonna tap dance on his head

Don’t tempt me

I’m half-way out of my seat

He’s got the looks, he’s got the lolly

Driving me clean off my trolley

Doing the jitterbug, doing the jive

Doing the shimmy, snakes alive

That’s not a dance, that’s S-E-X

Ban that couple, certificate X!

Get yer mittens off my gal

Or you’ll end up as mincemeat pal

I’ve got friends, mean sons

They’ve got knives, chains, guns

Gas, grenades, knuckle-dusters,

Lazy Susans, Blockbusters

I’m sitting here, calm as I can

While you polish the floor with another man

I’m not mad, I’m a cuddly toy

Just keep me away from laughing boy

You say he’s a relative, some hope

If he’s your uncle, I’m the Pope!