Criminal - Ryan

It’s been almost three years since I made this video.

My name is Hunter, I’m from Arkansas, and I’m 15 now.

Now before I say anything, I just want to put out there that I am not trying to

play the «feel-bad-for-me gig.»

I am simply just telling you a story.

I made this video when I was going through a very awkward phase, (I mean,

come on who hasn’t gone through this awkward phase?) I thought I was really

cool because I could make my vocal cords have a WWE throwdown and sound like a

pterodactyl.

Clearly, I was a small, ignorant child.

Fast forward about 1 year, I hear about this video starting blow up,

and that’s when I thought my life was over.

for me.

My heart sank to my pelvis, I couldn’t breathe, when I had found all of the

negative feedback people were giving my twelve year old self.

I basically plunged into a deep state of depression, not just because of all

the «kill youself-s» and things like that online, but I had and still have to

this day, people bringing it up and making fun of me for it.

I was processed through 2 mental health facilities, I was having severe

depression, suicidal thoughts, and of course, self-mutilation.

I was only at each facility for about a week or so, but oh my goodness,

it felt like a month.

Directly when I got out, not much had changed, I was still depressed.

But then something changed.

I realized it doesn’t matter.

None of what people have to say about me matters.

Why should I waste my time worrying about people that are more than likely so

insecure with themselves and their problems, that they have to go and say just

horrid things to this twelve year old me.

To all you people out there, that have told me to kill myself, said that you

wish I was dead, and to the people who say even more vulgar things,

(not going to mention in detail.

it’s pretty grotesque) I have one thing to say to all of those people,

I could care less.

You are not worth my time and you are not stealing any of my happiness.

Now to all of the people that have defended me, such as my good friend, Liz,

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making this less

difficult for me.

In conclusion, I was 12.

I was young and, quite frankly, very dumb.

I admit that.

But the things that have been said to me?

Ignorant and Unnecessary.

I’ll be deleting this video soon, and will be attempting to take it down

everywhere else.

Thanks to all of you who defended me.