Superlative Heroes - Samsa

Faster than a speeding bullet

More powerful than a Locomotive

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound

This amazing stranger from the planet Krypton

The man of steel

Yo

I’m not your average superhero

I don’t wear a cape or tights

And you won’t catch me slinging webs through cityscapes

I’m scare of heights

I’m not your textbook superhero

I can’t levitate or fly

But if you pass the Sunday crossword I won’t hesitate to try

I’m not the type of vigilante who goes off avenging homicides

More the kind to just correct a coma splice

Constructive criticism super villain

Yes I’m honest when I prompt advice

But even when a novice writes I always leave my comments nice

Leap buildings in a single bound

Y’all should see the way my fingers race

Through city streets and letter keys

Whether double or single spaced

Faster than a speeding bullet

If you’re talking words per minute

Write so comprehensive each bullet point holds the world within it

Power like a locomotive

Discipline of Sage strength

Essays that I write are twenty pages past the page length

Not the man of steel but when I sit to write I’ve got no Kryptonite

As long as I’ve got coffee I can sip tonight

Call me cyclops

I’ve got laser vision page revision

Not a next gen X-men

But I’m crazy with the red pen

Muted when I’m writing

Yes my drafts have got evolving genes

Watch me wielding clauses like I’m Wolverine and cause a scene

I’m not your average superhero

I don’t mask my voice like this

Secret identity’s dull

I don’t see the point in it

I’m not out here to save the world on date night protocols

I just take my pride in sentence structure

Phase right through the walls of text

Polish red a second time

Kind of like Professor-X

But I read the same lines instead of minds until they’re all correct

Triple check that proper punctuation ends it

Perfect verbs and fantastic nouns like Ben Grimm

Spin webs of any size and catch a reader’s attention

Nab plagiarists like flies

I write with tingling senses

Swing right overhead with lines of Super-tensile strength

Fingers type like streaks of light

Whether past or present tense

I arrive just in time

Type more than Cyborg

Not Robin no red or green underline eyesores

I channel Raven right inside with Edgar Allen Poe

No Green eyes but tackle any beast of rhetoric that you know

They can call me any hour

But they view it as a lesser power

When my essays get an A on top

Like Avengers Tower

In the meantime I think I’ll go into hiding

Reckless vigilante with his helmet on still writing